Lydia's Island #7

March 1993

Miriam lay on the couch, wrapped in an afghan knit by her grandmother. She had a sharp pain above her right eye. She had woken up with the headache, and the pain had increased all day, in spite of multiple Tylenols. The living room was mostly dark, except for the TV. Outside, ice pinged against the windows and she could hear trees creaking with the weight.

Her son sat on the other end of the couch, his bare feet curled under him. They were watching a show about the Titanic, the camera passing over railings thick with white buildup.
"What is that stuff?" asked Taylor.
"I don't know."
"It looks like ice."
"It's not ice."
"I know."

The camera zoomed into the huge ballroom. A fish swam by, ghostly white, startling Taylor. Miriam wondered if the sunken ship bothered her son as much as it did her. She would have changed the channel, but didn't want to draw attention to her discomfort. Eddie had been out longer than usual. He had gone on two trips in a row this time. He always called her as soon as he got in, but she couldn't help hoping that he'd just show up tonight and surprise her. It wasn't so much that she was excited to see him, but that she wanted him to take care of the kids. Eddie was good with them, cooking pancakes early in the morning before Taylor went to school, running around the house with Hazel. The kids got used to having him around, and it made it harder when he had to leave again.

Hazel came in and stood in front of the TV. Her fine hair glowed in the light of the TV. One pajama leg was twisted.

"You make a better door than a window," Taylor said. Hazel didn't move.
"Come over here, baby," said Miriam. Hazel shuffled over, rubbing her ear. Taylor squeezed tighter into the corner of the couch, making room.
"You couldn't sleep?" Miriam said. Hazel shook her head and settled in next to Taylor. Miriam moved her feet up. She reached down to fix Hazel's pajama leg.
"Your ears hurt?"
Hazel nodded. Miriam could see tears forming in her daughter's eyes. She looked over Hazel's head to Taylor, who put his arm around his sister. Hazel leaned into his side, static making her hair stick to his sweatshirt.

On TV, the camera moved up close to one of the smokestacks, showing its stripe of white paint.
"What's that?" Hazel asked.
"A boat," said Taylor.
"Like Daddy's?"
"Sort of. Dad's is smaller."
"Why's there water in it?"
"It's on the bottom of the ocean."
Miriam shook her head at Taylor. She did not need to get into this tonight. She could feel the warmth of her daughter's leg against her feet.
"Why?"
Miriam could see Taylor trying to make something up.
"Because it had an accident," Miriam finally said.

The show focused on black and white pictures, starting close-up and moving out. Broken dishes. A life ring. A picture of the captain.
"Did Daddy's boat have an accident?"
"Of course not," Miriam said. "Why do you say that?"

"He's been gone too long. When's he coming home?"
"Soon. Remember, he had to go on two trips this time?"
Hazel reached an arm around her brother's stomach. As bad as Miriam felt, she was glad to see the kids getting along. These were her favorite moments, the three of them together, sharing each other's warmth.

When the TV show went to commercials the bright flashing light hurt her eyes. The phone rang. Miriam jumped. It was ten o'clock. Who would be calling this late?
"Want me to get it?" Taylor asked.
"No, it's okay." Miriam was already untangling the blanket from around her legs. When she stood up, her head throbbed harder.